Aviation Jokes

• You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal. Lead-in Fighter Training Manual


• When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash. Multi-Engine Training Manual


• It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. US Air Force Manual


• Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. Unknown Marine Recruit


• You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. Paul F.. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)


• The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire. Unknown Author


• If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe. Fixed Wing Pilot


• Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club. Unknown Author


• If you hear me yell; "Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because you're the pilot.' Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot


• What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies. Sign over Control Tower Door


• Never trade luck for skill. Author Unknown


• Mankind has a perfect record in aviation - we have never left one up there! Unknown Author


• Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it. Emergency Checklist


• The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you. Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)


• There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ